So...goodnight dear Void

Ok, so I gamely decide to go to the home of The Boy I Once Loved. I was paranoid from the previous night. Howled my eyes out and decided I could NOT go. Then decided to be brave and martyr-like and face up to it like St Joan of Arc.

I adore melodrama when you can laugh at it later!

I primped. I admit it all right! Wore new cotton olive-green pants and this very un-Tia top which Mum got me. It has Juicy Cherry written all over it in pink! Wore lenses which basically meant I could see only a foot ahead of me. Made up eyes and actually looked at self in mirror, something i rarely do.
But I couldn't go right away. I mean, i had to de-glamourize myself a bit and appear casual. So off I went to tnt (thank you Director for creating it!) and had a few laughs. Gave Resh and Ravi Bhaiyya their presents, talked to Resh about a lot of things. Met the Router (much happiness there as always), gave him his present...come to think of it, his presence has become so familiar now...

THEN, with blessings from J and A, I took myself off to That House. I quivered let me tell you. No, quivered is too delicate and ladylike...I SHOOK! I love the House you know. It has a jhoola and dogs and an old, old bai who always welcomes me and gives me lovely tea or Tang..or both. I almost walked past the gate (perhaps I could tell them I hadn't found the house in the dark), but St Joan dropped me off at the door.
I met the New Dog. He bit my new pants. The Old Dog was happy to see me. I chatted awhile with the Sister and the Cousins. We sing bug songs. Bless them for making me so welcome.
But I was not a complete martyr if I didn't face the Boy Himself!

So...I knock on his door verrrry politely. He opens, is surprised-pleased to see me. I am prepared to be umcomfortable, in fact I am DETERMINED to be uncomfortable.
'What happened, why are you looking like that?', he asks.
I, with my usual eloquence, suddenly snap up and say 'oh..no, I'm just jet-lagged and it's so hot and...' and sit down.
We talk. He is digitizing old audio cassettes of classical music. His room smells just the same. It hits me that smell. He shows me his new books, shows me pictures of his recent vacation with friends, explains the music he is trying to clear up.
I observe him. He has lost weight.
He tells me he had food poisoning. His hair seems less shiny. Maybe he's stopped using gel(what a relief!)
My ipod charger has been with him for months. I tell him he can keep it. He tells me I must take his in return. I refuse. He insists. 'I don't want to take anything from you without giving back', he says.
I tickle him and ask him to shut up.
He gives me two books and a cd...because he has extra copies!
The Mother comes home.
I like her a lot. We have had very good talks.

It is getting late. I need to get back to tnt. He has to go that way, he offers me a lift. An old ritual. He's dropped me home in the middle of the night even after we bacame Once Loved. I open the gate, he takes the bike out, I close the gate and hop on.
He tells me I've grown heavy. I beat him up. He drops me to the Store, rides off before i can say thank you or hug him.
We are all about rituals, him and me. The tea, the bike, the rides, him working on his computer on his beloved music, the stacks of books towering on his desk, the smell of his room...like oldness and comfort...
and touch...the one that had to be broken.