Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Lurrrve it!

Monday, July 30, 2007

A Song For All Lovers

Imagine the morning no longer alone
The arms of another, a place to belong
No longer the struggle, no longer the night
And ever becoming in the quickening light

To see in the darkness, to listen within
To answer in kindness, to ever begin
To ever be gentle, to always be strong
To walk in the wonder, to live in the song

In a place of enchantment where the wild things are known
Will the future remember when the lovers are gone?

-John Denver

The painting is by Marc Chagall. Much affection and gratitude to The Router who brought me back in touch with him...

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I'm in Writing Mode. My workshop ended today and i have a Ferris Wheel in my head with about eight-four thousand riders screaming to be let off on paper or blank document.
I love being crazy. I love going over the top and stuttering in excitement and loving people till they're gasping to be set free. I sometimes think that maybe I should slow down, and I think I will, just to see how it feels but I love this gleeful headiness.


An ex-boyfriend-and-dear-friend asking when he can come over and cook for us

Dad asking me in a weird hissy whisper if i have cigarettes

My baby brother running up and hugging me from behind.

Mum's non-veg jokes.

Watching E while he sleeps and bending over to kiss his darling head.

Writing a long letter to a prospective new friend :)

Late-night calls from Neha where we cackle with laughter about everything.

The rare, sweet smiles and straight looks the Router gives me...

Sitting with M in silence, then suddenly pulling a terrible face, making us both giggle.

Sitting in my balcony, watching rain and getting splashed.

late-night movies with Stepmum

A favourite song suddenly on the radio.

Sitting on walls or window seats and dangling my legs.

Trying a new soap or shower-gel or shampoo.

Being near enough someone I love, not touching, but inhaling their scent.

Eating chips and reading Bridget Jones!

Sitting on tnt steps...any steps really, I love staircases.


Smoke rising from incense sticks

passionate people

Watching 'You've Got Mail' a squillion times


So what makes you sparkle :)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Oh What a Falling There Was

I can't believe it's all over. All the planning, all that stress, all my frantic attempts at reassuring Weed that all would go well...but twas all so completely worth it!

The Event was marvellous! From our waltzing into Pizza Hut wearing robes, to the Router and I sitting on tnt steps acting drunk at 5:45 am, to us leaping up and down outside $%(^$^#$(&#$ showing off our fresh, new copies of HP before theirs had come...twas a night of madness!

The venue looked great thanks to Ninad's brilliance and Weed's lovely lovely posters. The participants were bubbling with enthusiasm...the Router and Shri-Can't had us rolling all over in Elocution and JAM. You guys were really really great!
I was totally impressed by how well-informed the kids were! The Group Discussion would probably never have ended had we not stopped it. Our Petites team tnt-ians were adorable in Gryffindor robes and enjoyed themselves thoroughly, despite having but the barest idea of HP World.
The Quiz went off wonderfully.(yes Nahar, I know I've told you that about twenty times, but so what!) Again, the participants were impressive. Tis amazing how deep theĆ½ have entered into Potter World. The Router reprised his role as Quizmaster, with the result that most women over twenty-five( and a few below 25 who kept quiet!) were raving over him before the first round of questions was over! Twas a clear, well-organized, totally committed effort. Pat on the back to you :)
Once the Event was over, we started pushing Boss to get to the distributors already! Finally managed to get her going and we all went back to tnt to open the Store and set up for a long day. Sat about in various stages of drowsiness, till at 6:15, the Qualis drew up...and we all jumped up and started screaming and shoving each other about trying to get to the boxes in the back.
Tape was hacked at, flaps wrenched open...and suddenly....it was the Moment!
Black-and-red, about 600 pages, hardbound, glowing with newness and holding a million secrets!
More impatience ensued. We grabbed a copy each, gazed, hugged, kissed the cover and got ourselves billed.
THEN...sleeplessness and euphoria having mingled and risen to dangerous levels, we jumped into the Qualis, ULM at the wheel and drove to that-bookshop-which shall-never-be-named-on-this-blog.
It was barely open, people wating outside for their HP's. We got off, jumped up and down outside showing off our new books...much to the chagrin of the poor watchman who ran towards us, then halted confusedly, not sure if he wanted to take on this bunch of wild-eyed hooligans! Damage done, we came back to tnt.
Many thanks to ULM for being the Greatest Sport ever!

....and so we transformed one room in a nearby club into a new world and made magic and madness such as Rowling herself would've been proud of.
I love the book. To quote the Router, 'I loved it before it had even released!'
But the build-up was just as amazing.
And this kind of crazed love and enthusiasm is what keeps tnt going...
Thank you, all the witches and wizards, the pixies and elves...all with your own unique magic, your love for tnt and Harry Potter, for creating this night.

Rash reactions to the rash

Dad: It's an allergy!

Me: But i've never been allergic to anything, ever!

Dad(happily): ooh, maybe you're allergic to air. then you'll have to wear a space-suit all the time. Hey, then maybe you'll get married cos the groom won't be able to see you!

E(gravely): Baba, of course she's not allergic to air. (pauses) There's only thing she's allergic to. (pauses)

Disclaimer: My dad loves me very much! I am just off to my doctor for more reactions!

Monday, July 23, 2007


by Insanerambler and Jahnavi

200. My Middle Name Is:
Don't have one. if I did, twould be...The Vague

199. I was born in:

197. My cell phone company is:
Idea / Nokia 6300

196. My eye color is:

195. My shoe size is:

194. My ringtone is:

193. My height is:
5 ft 1"

192. I am allergic to:
Trying to find out. My dad's hoping it's air so I'll have to wear a space-suit!

190. I live in:
Pune, for now.

189. The last book I read:
the 7th Harry Potter book!

188. My bed is:

187. Are you happy with your life?

186. Last person to send you a text message:

185. Ever smoked a cigarette?

184. AIM or MSN or Yahoo! or gtalk:
msn and gtalk

183. Do you email:

182. How is the weather today:
pleasant, slightly humid

181. Do you have your wisdom teeth:

180. Ever been to Disney World:

179. My favorite holiday is:
Durga Pujo/Christmas

178. The perfect kiss is:

177. The last three cds I bought:
OST of Music & Lyrics, OST of The Lion King 2 and The Greatest Hollywood Musicals.

176. Last song that made you cry:
naam gum jayega from Kinara

170. What did you do yesterday?
attended a Linguistics lecture, ate grilled cheese sandwich, attended Creative Writing Workshop, ate chips,picked up Sameer's present, listened to old music and slept.


142. Love at first sight?

141. Luck?

140. Fate?

139. God?

138. Aliens?

137. Heaven?

136. Hell?

135. Ghosts?

134. Horoscopes?

133. Soul mates?


129. Hugs or Kisses?

127. Phone or Online?
phone if it's late-night, online...yes...but I'd rather meet

126. Redheads or Black Hair?
black hair

125. Blondes or Brunettes?

124. Hot or Cold?

123. Summer or winter?

122. Sun or Rain?

121. Chocolate or Vanilla?

120. Night or Morning?

119. Oranges or Apples?

120. straight or curly hair?


101. Saw someone I hadn't seen in a while?

100. Cried in front of someone:
Gosh...sometime in 2005

90. Who is the ditziest person you know:

89. Who makes you laugh the most:

87. The last movie you saw:
Pother Panchali

82. The thing I don't understand:
boundaries, why I can only do MA in one subject

80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever received:
hmmm, I see

79. The things I plan on doing this season is:
Applying for my Master's, travelling a bit, writing seriously

74. The thing I'm looking forward to most:
Moving on from Pune

73. The thing I'm not looking forward to doing:
all the paperwork and hassle

72. Today:
I'm smiling

71. This summer:
was full of travel and affection.

70. This week:
is going slow

62. The person who knows the most about me:
Neha, Shakun, M, Mum-Dad, Boss

61. The person who can read me the best is:
Neha-Shakun-M and Mum-Dad.

60. The most difficult thing to do is:
let it be.

54. First time you had a crush:
I was 11.

52. Last time someone said what you were thinking:
M, yesterday.

50. What is your dream job:
writing, singing

49. First job:

46. I hope:
I get independent real fast!

45. The worst sound in the world is:

44. The person that makes me cry the most:
umm....me I guess. And some beautiful writers.

35. Florida or Hawaii:

33. My favorite piece of clothing:
my white cotton pyjama-pants

30. My friends are:
totally wow!

29. My computer:
is dying!

28. The school I go to:
Fergusson College

22. The all-time best movie is:
I dunno...You've Got Mail, Casablanca??....oh sod it, too many!

21. The all-time best thing in the world is:
Love, privacy, independence

20. Last thing you ate:
Chicken curry with roti and mixed pickle

19. The most annoying thing ever is:
too many questions, being ignored

18. The most annoying person you know is:
The Gestapo

17. I lose all respect for people that/who:
whine, try to categorise everything, make forced conversation

16. The movies I have cried at are:
Casablanca, An Affair to Remember, KKHH, 15 Park Avenue

15. Last phone call:

14. TV shows you watch:
The OC, The Simpsons, Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, Friends, Doogie Houser MD, The Wonder Years

13. Last friend you hung out with?
M and Shreya

12. I want to be:
less ofa procrastinator

11. The worst pain I ever felt:
shrug...there's been plenty of crazy pain

9. My room is:
my sanctuary

8. My favorite celebrity is:
JK Rowling

6. My favorite colors:
red, black, sea-green

5. My weakness is:

3. Who broke your heart:
There are definite scars, but my heart is whole and strong

2. One thing that makes you feel great is:
laughter, being wanted

1. Love and the potential of being hurt OR never loved but never hurt?
love and potential always

Thursday, July 19, 2007

I could scream! Coolly and with the utmost joy kill them! I'm not considering that they're kids. I don't care if they have lousy parents and a 'bad upbringing.' I will not have some sub-human little freaks torture my brother every day.
And what are we,the family supposed to do? Say 'it's a boys' school, such things happen'
Where the hell is it written that boys must be animalistic bullies in school! I'm supposed to watch a six-year-old come home crying every day AND SHRUG IT OFF BECAUSE IT'S A BOYS SCHOOL??? Call me overprotective. Accuse me of making him a sissy. I don't mind a fair fight. I'd cheer him on, teach him a few moves! BUT THESE COWARDLY LITTLE BASTARDS ARE OLDER AND BIGGER AND THEY KNOW IT! They bloody humiliate him and the STUPID parents do nothing!
I can't say anything to the little creeps because E must not be called a softie. And he won't retaliate because they are older....and well...there are two or three of them. You talk to parents...they deny that their precious little boy could possibly do such things...or they laugh it off!
Tomorrow, their precious little brat will be beating his wife and sleeping around...and they'll still react the same way!
Teach your poisonous little scumbag a few manners Parents!
I don't care if this is the world today. I don't give a bloody piece of shit!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Ok, so I am on a no-chip diet. Starting today. I've made pretty good progress. There were rows of Lays in E2, and I wasn't even tempted. I walked right past our local All-Purpose Store and the supermarket without even looking. This area is to chip-addicts what I am to self-restraint. Buuuttt...I shall triumph :)

The movie is crowded. Things happen all at once, events slide into one another. Even Sirius' death is treated far too lightly. Considering its monumental importance in Harry's life, methinks it could have been heightened much more.
Performances are good. Imelda Staunton gets under the skin of Dolores Umbridge! From the hem hem, to the falsely sweet laugh to the fluttery way of speaking, she's done a wonderful job. Helena Bonham Carter plays Bellatrix Lestrange. She looks like a cross between Catwoman and and a Soho hooker fallen on hard times but she is captivating. Bellatrix's complete devotion to Voldemort, her mad joy at his return and her unflinching sadism are portrayed well. Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood and Natalia Tena as Tonks are truly enjoyable.

The growing relationship between Ron and Hermione is a high point in the movie. Tisn't flashy or especially highlighted. Instead, director David Yates makes sure that their relationship rings true to their adoloscence. The little, creeping tenderness-es, the compliment that means so much, this was by far my favourite relationship in the movie.
The end is rather nice. Harry's grief at losing Sirius, his realization that he 'has something that Voldemort doesn't...something worth fighting for,' endear him to the audience. Keeping in mind that most of the audience have been following Harry's life since he was eleven years old, tis bittersweet to watch him grow up.
Tis a testament to J.K. Rowling's writing power that her character arouses such affection in her readers.
Tisn't easy to make a movie of the books. There's too much struggle between detail and time, too many nuances that can be tapped into only in 700-odd pages.
Hats off to David Yates for a thoroughly creative effort.

This has been a week of meetings. Coffee dates with Alisha and Tripuri, an accidental meeting with Rekha and a much-awaited, much planned meeting with the Rambler who is as prettiful as I remember :)
And a here-I-go-shooting-my-mouth-off-again meeting with the Router, which he really did not deserve. I mean, somebody who calls to tell me that a g&r video with half-naked Axle and Slash is airing on VH1 is someone I should hang on to :)

Thursday, July 12, 2007

I didn't know it was possible to love a body so much

I saw
the deep lines etched into your neck

only just below your hairline

your body


in the spaces between my fingers.

ee cummings

1. somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

2. i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Yay yay yay! We've got HP tickets for the first show on Friday! Weed deserves 39875 hugs for sleepwalking to the advance-tickets counter the minute it opened!
Haven't been down to tnt to look at the Very Cute Broomstick yet. Tis lovely that someone is so HP-crazy. He's also made a Quidditch pitch I hear. Now that is the epitome of Huggableness!

Okie, I is off to Snoozy Town.

Much love to yall.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

From the Desk of Benny Blue, T.Y.B.A. Student!

Kind of swamped, but tis a good kind of exhaustion. Continuous lectures from 7:30 to 12:30 and then a creative non-fiction workshop from 1 till 3.
And what lectures! Honours this year is almost entirely technical, with one paper in Linguistics and Orientation and the other in Literary Criticism. Linguistics is very interesting, or would be if we didn't have the world's Most Archaic Professor! The guy never steps out of the books. You ask him about the relevance of sign language and body language...HE SHUFFLES! Try asking him how a society would function without language as the primary source of communication...he giggles! And I have two lectures with him three times a week. TRAUMA!
General English consists of about a hundred poems and two novels. YAYEEE! I so hope we don't get the Prize Idjit we had last year!

I detest learning the techniques of English, so my brain is already taxed, and tis only been two days. But great fun.

The writing workshop is being conducted by some people from Penn State University. Tis very enjoyable and open. We're currently writing on people and their spaces. Basically, what connects us to cerian places
Philosophy rocks this year. Two topics...Philosophy and Aesthetics and Philosophy in Religion. Sounds very very interesting.

I'm also studying Industrial Psychology this year. The course reads like an HR manual, frankly. I hate stuff that promises to mould you into a manager! All the books seem to say, is 'be positive'. Last time i checked, that was an Anil Kapoor dialogue in a movie where he was hanging off a cliff.

Loving college, looking forward to plenty of happy work! And Harry Potter approaches :) :) :) The Router and I will be at the entry-desk during the Event, so if either of us has a black eye or a bleeding nose...(just kidding Boss!) We are planning a day out of Pune for M's birthday next month, and our Pondicherry trip will be finalised soon. Very excited!

Listening to Neil Young, Marvin and Tammy and some lovely monsoon raagas by Kishori Amonkar.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Old love

Do nainaa aaur ek kahaanee
thoda saa baadal
thoda saa paanee
aaur... ek kahaanee

chhotee see do zeelon mein
wo bahatee rahatee hai
koyee sune yaa naa sune
kahatee rahatee hai
kuchh likh ke aaur kuchh jubaanee

thode sai hain jaanee huyee
thodee see nayee
jahaa ruke aansoo
wahee pooree ho gayee
hai to nayee fir bhee hain puraane...

ek khatm ho to
doosaree yaad aa jaatee hai
hothhon pe fir bhoolee huyee
baat aa jaatee hai


Tis an old favourite. Sometimes a lover, sometimes a child.

Come one, come all

twistntales presents...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!
Join us in an all-night vigil as we count down to the most eagerly awaited HP book yet.
Quiz, debate, trivia and more. Book the 7th book with us and join in the fun!
Call us at the Store for details.

Gaikwad Nagar

Friday, July 06, 2007

Benny in Point-form

Dining room full of people watching the Crossroads Guitar Festival and joking about Clapton only being allowed to play rhythm.

Anuranan releases today! I have all my fingers crossed...for the success of the movie...and close personal relationship with Rahul Bose (GRIN!)

Tis so much fun to see the expression on guests'faces when Dad asks if he can bum a smoke off me.

Have been having very nice chats/textings with the Rambler :)

Have been watching trailers of the Potter movie every 15 minutes. Cannot wait for release. Have begun Intro to HP course with E. Tis way more interesting than Hindi matras.

This blogger whose writing I love told someone-who-told-me that I write beautifully. Thank you.

Have realized that my parents are the most considerate people I know. At least where my life is concerned.

Love my marvellous friends. Love the weird men in my life...Dad, E,Adit and Shankar,Vernie and the Router and S. No matter how much I complain and yell and abuse and refuse to answer calls...:)

Have eaten so much potato-salad am gagging.

Therefore, shall make dignified exit

Wednesday, July 04, 2007


I should be doing all kinds of useful things like trimming my nails, paying my college fees and so on.
Tis just so much more fun to sit around and crib about my deprived life :)

We had our first HP Launch meeting on Monday. Twas the rainiest day of the year so far, but crazy, loyal tnt-ians that we are, we managed to wade our ways through. It went pretty well, we've all been allotted our duties...the only thing is, we're kind of gasping for time. I yam In Charge of Music...so Weed and Tonks better Bow Down! Tonks insisted on calling herself The-Tonks...which, if you keep saying it really fast starts sounding like 'de-tox'. We're trying to convince Boss to let her Pink her Hair.
Met the Router/Martian Rubber-Band after a worryingly long while...let me get very mushy and say &%^$&%*%$&$$^(^$#!*&%*$&

I have been writing this over six hours...went to college inbetween, caused havoc and got my admissions done.I am Known in the Administration...and not for my grades! They look up when I walk in, and either smirk or sigh...or hurry out.
Tis great fun!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


Thank you Shankar, for being the first person to actively tell me that other people's judgements can go to hell :) :)

Monday, July 02, 2007

So long, emotional fuckwits!

I'm done getting upset over idiots. I have too many lovely people in my life to waste my energy on morons. People who have nothing to give me are not worth it.
I will not push people to be more huggable. I will not go out of my way to get to know and understand them. Everyone is not worth it!

I am responsible dammit! I don't care how much she's done for me or how stressed she is when she says things...you just need to think before you talk.

Ours is a fragile bond and I can't do much about it. But I will not be told that I should have some sense of responsibility. I do.
God I can't wait to get out of here! Everyone had rights over my life. Everyone affects me, and just want to me to fade into the smooth rhythm of their life.