Courting Disaster

Pmgrnt: Hello are you Disaster?

Dster: You seriously want to know???

P: Yes I do. I've been looking everywhere for you. I really need you in my life

D: Err...I am in your life. In those overgrown misshapen nails, the sticky feeling in your skin, the constant need to eat....

P: You make me sound pregnant.

D: I am sorry. I'm not known to spread sunshine! And in a way, you are impregnated. You're swollen up with a few things you oughta let go of! Y'know, like they say when you're in labour? PUSH! PUSH!

P: Look, quit the counselling. I'm not trying to get rid of you, I'm trying to have a mature, committed relationship here! I like you for the nights i spend sobbing and the constant resentment you build in me!

D: Lady, I ain't the forever kind. I come and go as I please.

P: Yes well I'm not giving up on you!

D (edging away): maybe, y'know, you could go see my brother. He might be of some help.

P: A brother??? Who is he?

D: Name's Pandemonium.

P: I do not want Pandemonium!! Pandemonium! He is loud and show-offy! I can't be passive and masochistic with him around!

D: I really need to go. I'm...due...at...a gay bar real soon! See you!

P: NOOOOO...COME BACK!!


THE END